Don't swap horses midstream!!!!!1


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Author Archive


Posted on November 7th, 2012 by Abraham Lincoln

I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell […]


Posted on November 6th, 2012 by Abraham Lincoln

The president of the United States of America just sent this, his final plea to you: Friend — I can’t do this alone Vote. Abraham

Disenthrall thyself

Posted on November 5th, 2012 by Abraham Lincoln

In praise of our Voluntaries

Posted on November 5th, 2012 by Abraham Lincoln

Folks —     From a poem I once composed:        In an age of fops and toys, Wanting wisdom, void of right, Who shall nerve heroic boys To hazard all in Freedom’s fight,— Break sharply off their jolly games, Forsake their comrades gay, And quit proud homes and youthful dames, For famine, toil, […]

Railroads growth

Posted on November 5th, 2012 by Abraham Lincoln

FACT: Under President Lincoln, the US has seen 32 straight months of railroads growth. SHARE

Our apologies

Posted on November 4th, 2012 by Abraham Lincoln

It appears our Springfield headquarters has suffered an intrusion. If you received the erroneous dispatch below, please disregard it.

Help her

Posted on November 3rd, 2012 by Abraham Lincoln

Arise and enter the street. Exclaim “Hoo-Ray for Abe” with the might of a thousand thundercracks. SHARE

‘What will it require to impress upon your roly poly mind the feasibility of you and a consort splitting rails with the great rail splitter himself?’

Posted on November 2nd, 2012 by Abraham Lincoln

The commanding general of the US Army has something to say: Hark, you cacafuego: A bird tells me you‘ve donated:                    $00.00 Are you some kind of pantywaist? How might I gore your pudgy skullcap with the offer of you and the damn president splitting some fine Port […]

The horse-swapper’s woe

Posted on November 1st, 2012 by Abraham Lincoln

Look, see what occurs when one undertakes midstream horse swapping: Stand by the horse you have. SHARE

American Civilization

Posted on October 31st, 2012 by Abraham Lincoln

President Lincoln received an enthusiastic “Hoo-Ray” from R.W. Emerson, our favorite transcendentalist over at The Atlantic Monthly: The state of the country fills us with anxiety and stern duties. It beckoned me to seek, in the pages of my dear monthly, a man of original perception and original action, who could open his eyes wider than […]